Netflix recently released the film ‘Enola Holmes,’ based on the first book in a popular series by Nancy Springer. The eponymous heroine is the younger sister of famous detective Sherlock Holmes and doesn’t appear in the original Arthur Conan Doyle works (which is the subject of much controversy which I’m not going to delve into here!) so she has been written specifically to add another dimension to the Holmes saga many of us love.
I haven’t read the books but I did watch the film and, although parts of it were flawed, I thought it was a great story for young women and men to enjoy. Plus, it has Helena Bonham Carter in it as the bad ass mum so, you know, I’m sold. When I was watching the film I quite liked the idea that the iconic character of Sherlock Holmes could have this hidden side to his life but that the character of Enola was completely her own person with her own story to tell. So, of course, I had a think about who else might have some interesting siblings with a story to tell and, if there weren’t any legal issues, this is the list I would like to submit… Willy Wonka Yes, I know I’m discussing a Roald Dahl character again but I won’t feel bad about it. The possibilities with this one are endless! There could be a brother who despises chocolate and sweet things and has built a factory dedicated to chopping vegetables or a sister who is even more committed to chocolate than Wonka and has made an entire planet out of the stuff. I also quite like the idea that there could be a few Wonka siblings traversing the universe searching for the best sweet treat it has to offer. Basically, if this ever happens one of them has to be called Wilma Wonka. James Bond The most famous spy of all time hasn’t been without controversy and it’s completely justified, so much so that some believe the next iteration of the character on screen should be female. I think a sister to this character could be really interesting as she could challenge the sexist history that Bond is famous for. All I ask is that she ties her hair back when she’s fighting and isn’t given some weird backstory that a man hurt her once and that’s the only way she could be become a hardened killer. Ursula Any Disney fan will know of this wicked sea witch and if you don’t think she has one of the best songs in the Disney back catalogue, you’re wrong. There’s been a trend in recent years to reinterpret famous Disney villains and I think Ursula would be perfect for this. I’m imagining her and her glamourous older sister painting Atlantis red with their debauchery before something happens that turns her into the witch we all love to hate. Mary Poppins Mary Poppins was a key feature in my childhood (my mother is convinced this film is why I’m a feminist after she caught me marching around the living, aged two ,shouting ‘Votes for Women!’) so I have a lot of love for Mary. She’s a bit of an elusive character and so I think giving her a sibling would open a new world of fun. I can see her with a brother who is also practically perfect in every way or a younger sister that’s still trying to learn the ropes. Either way, I want a film adaptation and I want some catchy songs. Dracula As it’s spooky season I thought I should include this guy! This would require some reworking of the story but why shouldn’t Dracula have a sibling to share that big old house with? I quite like the idea of a ‘What We Do in the Shadows’ type film with him and a vast number of siblings who don’t really get on but who else is going to put up with them for eternity?
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I’ve recently moved back in with my parents for the short term while I find a flat (like most people this pandemic screwed me over on the job and housing front) which has understandably made me a little nostalgic. This is the house I did most of my growing up in and there’s a fair few photographs dotted around that inevitably send my mind back in time and the whole thing got me thinking about how writing has been interwoven throughout my life.
In primary school Fridays were predominantly ‘Story Writing Day’ and, without a doubt, I thought it was the best day of the week because it gave me a chance to let loose. Sometimes we were given a title we had to use, an object to incorporate or even a sentence we had to begin the story with and I always loved the challenge. One of my fondest memories was aged nine when the teacher had selected three of us to read our stories aloud to the rest of the class and I had been selected as a Chosen One. Admittedly, the teacher said that I had used way too much dialogue but she thought it was a really funny story and my classmates would love it. I remember desperately waiting for my turn and when it came I gave it all the gusto I could manage and not one of the fuckers laughed. Every line I read I thought ‘This is it. This is BOUND to get a giggle,’ but apparently my teacher was incorrect and I was met with silence and the death stare of twenty odd nine year olds waiting for playtime. Despite that near traumatising experience I still loved writing and found myself writing stories and poems at home. The poems in particular were a big hit with my grandparents (they thought I was funny) and I’d churn out a few stanzas as often as I could. Each one of these poems was put in a 90’s style ring binder and my grandparents never threw it out. I vividly remember them showing the poems to my great aunt and uncle, which obviously made me feel very proud, but I was also slightly concerned about the mugs of tea in their hands and their proximity to my masterpieces. Thankfully, they remain undamaged to this day. Once I reached secondary school creative writing wasn’t as big a feature in our learning but I do remember one standout moment when I was in Year 8 and we had to pretend to be soldiers in WWI writing letters home from the trenches (an old favourite in UK secondary schools.) I felt totally unprepared for this task in all honesty due to the fact that this was an English class so we hadn’t done a lot of research into the history of the period. I had no idea what actually went on in a trench; what did they eat? How did they speak to each other? Why had they signed up to fight in the first place? Therefore, when it came to writing the letter I kept it quite simple because I thought if I was a soldier on the front line I wouldn’t be using similes and metaphors, I would be straight to the point and telling my mum that hopefully I’d be home soon. However, it looked like the whole class took this approach because the teacher was furious and made us all rewrite it. I went all in on the similes and metaphors the second time round, so much so that I was pretty sure no one would ever write like that in real life. Anyway, the teacher read it once I finished and loved it so I felt reassured that I had somewhat of a talent for writing and I suppose the whole incident just meant that I understood the importance of character and voice. However, my most treasured writing memory of my younger years has to be when I came second in a writing competition for Newport University (as it was then) aged eighteen. My English Literature teachers had told my class about it and it was about this time that I thought maybe writing was a bigger passion of mine than I had previously realised so I decided to submit a short story I had been working on. You could choose from three titles and the story I had was already leaning towards to one of the titles so it didn’t take too much to adapt. I thought no more of it and submitted it assuming I wouldn’t hear anything, the submission guidelines even stated that you shouldn’t enter if you couldn’t attend the awards ceremony which also happened to be the date of my A Level Drama exam but I did it anyway. Then one day I came home from school to read an email stating that I’d come second and won a little money too, I can’t remember the amount but any money at that age is treasure isn’t it? It’s been almost eleven years since the competition and it still makes me smile when I think about it because it was the first time people I didn’t know had read my work and enjoyed it. It’s a feeling I will never forget or take for granted for as long as I am lucky enough to experience it. We’re all back into the swing of things now, aren’t we? The first working week of 2020 is done, the determination we had when we started our New Year diets is being tested and, in fact, all the goals that we attached to #NewYearNewMe are on a very tentative see-saw.
Last year I thought I would get my book published, however, a lot of life ‘stuff’ got in the way, most notably me signing up to the Cardiff Half Marathon and so due to needing A LOT of training, my Year of the Book became Year of the Run. I don’t regret this at all; I had always wanted to run it and I’m proud that I did but my biggest passion has always been writing and so this inevitably had to go on the back burner for a little bit. Now I’ve finally had my novel proofread by some fantastic people, it’s been edited and now it’s ready to be published! Have I been making inroads to do that? Well, umm, sort of… The problem is that all that life stuff keeps popping up again and it’s making me feel endlessly guilty. I’ve signed up to another 10k running event, which is imminent and requires more training, there’s the obvious everyday going to work thing and trying to make sure I make time for the special people in my life. Of course, this is ‘stuff’ that has to be done and I enjoy it but this does usually mean that I’m too low on time or too knackered to sit down and fry my brain with how to format a book for publishing. AND I FEEL SO BLOODY GUILTY! For example, I was pretty much bed bound yesterday due to illness and I even felt guilty that I wasn’t using this time to work on the book. Instead I chose to sleep and rest which is obviously the logical and sensible thing to do, yet it felt wrong. I’m fully aware that the only reason for this guilt is myself. I know I have people who are excited for my book to be released but is anyone really wetting themselves with anticipation as I dilly dally with getting it done? Or as stressed about my lack of blogging as I am? Probably not. I’m the one who is desperate to get my book out there and the more ‘Dreams Only Work if You Do’ memes I see or ‘Girl Wins Awesome Prize at Awesome Thing Aged 5 Months Old’ news stories I read the more guilt I feel. So, dearest reader, here is my confession. I feel guilty as fuck all the time. I feel guilty for feeling guilty and also feel guilty for not thinking ‘fuck this feeling guilty thing.’ It’s a lot to handle and I doubt it’s going to go away but all I can do is fit in what I can and hope that one day you’ll see my name stamped on a book that you’d perhaps quite like to buy. No it's not Shady, it's me. Sorry. And when I say 'back' I just mean that I've started blogging again, which isn't that dramatic really.
Anyway, a lot has happened since my last post (which you'd like to hope as it's been five years!) and so blogging and website management has definitely been put on the back burner. Not only have I undertaken three 'grown up' jobs but I've moved house a few times, been on some brilliant holidays, made so many new friends and generally just had a bit more of a life than I did five years ago. I could give you more details but some parts are quite depressing and who actually has the time? I also wrote a new book, that seems like something I should mention. The last time I wrote a post I had finished my first book, Enkindled, and was trying to convince an agent to take it on, which in truth I wasn't ready for. But while I was doing that I also had an idea for a new book that just wouldn't go away. I'd actually had it for years, I think it was even on my mind before Enkindled but I chose to ignore it, and slowly I found that characters and plots were forming so I had to write it down. While I was undertaking an internship five years ago I managed to write this book and, again, I was young and naive and tried to shop it around when it wasn't ready. But even though I've dipped in and out of rewriting and editing it as my life has moved on, it's never gone away and now I'm finally confident enough in it for the world to (hopefully) read it. Of course, I'm still worried that it sucks and everyone will hate it. I'm worried about the trolls that now exist and I'm worried that people I love will read it and have to lie to my face, pretending it's good when it's actually bloody awful. But that's the risk you have to take, I suppose. This time my aim is to self-publish it. My dream is still to have a book on the shelves of Waterstones and hopefully this may be the start of that journey but actually what I really want is this story that I've had in my head for years to finally be out in the world and I'm really excited about it! I just need some proof readers and a front cover and I'm good to go (eeek!) So please do watch this space and I will try my very best to be the entertaining, witty and endearing person that I like to believe I am in real life. I don't know many writers and those that I do know are yet to be published or have their work widely known. However, I do know that we all have different approaches to writing and yet we all feel the unique and consuming pressure that writing brings. Even when you're not a world renowned author or even have the slightest inclination for other people to read your work, I can guarantee that if you enjoy writing you constantly feel pressure over the words you select and the story you choose to tell.
Whilst writing Enkindled I was constantly asking myself if a certain plot was the right way to go or if my character should look a certain way to represent a certain group of people or even if I should go against the grain entirely just for the sake of it. And don't even get me started on choosing characters' names! I have always known that I have had this tendency to question everything I do but when I began writing my latest book, an idea that I'd had for years and seemed unable to escape, I was shocked to learn that I could actually write instinctively. I only had the smallest of ideas to begin with, which is a scary thing in itself as there are so many avenues you can go down when you only have the bare bones of a concept, but as I began to think of characters, settings and plots I found that rather than questioning myself I just wrote what felt right. Of course, I still question plots and characters (especially their bloody names) but what writer with any worth doesn't do that? However, as the plot has grown and threatens to become its own, ever evolving monster, I have thoroughly enjoyed just going with whatever I think suits the story. The problem with fantasy is that it is such an established genre with its own rules and worlds that it's difficult to create a unique story that still appeals to those that like to get lost in that universe. I think the answer to this dilemma is to just forget about the people who might read it and focus on the person who is definitely going to read it: myself. I like the world I'm creating, the characters I'm falling in love with and a story that seems to be taking on its own life without much help from me. I'm excited to see where it goes and, even though I've planned the whole thing, as soon as I start typing away just a single line of dialogue or description can make me think about the entire plot in a new way. Writing instinctively may be risky in that I'm not sticking to a tried and tested formula or even a rigid plan but writing something that I'm not completely happy with (or at least mostly happy with, who is ever completely happy with their work?!) will be a reward in itself. I still like Enkindled but when an idea takes over and demands to be written what else can you do but just go with your gut? Things are quite exciting for me at the moment as I've managed to land myself a very nice job and so I have to move away from my childhood home once again. With this comes the inevitable task of packing, which always seems to coincide with me finally realising that I need to throw away a lot of things that for years I have convinced myself I still need. Yes, my name is Ellie Rees and I'm a hoarder. A book hoarder in particular.
Like most people who love books the idea of throwing them out feels like a crime and so the only other option I have is to either sell them or give them to charity. Either way, I have to part with them and its one of the toughest break ups you can go through. If I had my way I would have kept every single book I've ever owned in an underground library but it's very hard to find houses with that kind of special feature and my mum would only turn in to a lounge, anyway. However, I've been going through a lot of the books that I had as a teen today just to double check that I was certain about giving them away. I haven't read them for years but books like Louise Rennison's Georgia Nicholls series and numerous Jacqueline Wilson books were staples for me growing up and I re-read them numerous times. I understand how many people like me would want to hold on to them no matter what, convince themselves that they'll give them to their children one day or even read the books themselves. But I've realised that as much as I want a massive underground library one day, passing on a story is something very special and unique. It's not like giving someone a piece of jewelry; a book has the potential to change how someone thinks or views the world and, quite often, the reason we can't part with a book is because it has affected us so much. So I've given myself a rule; if I think about giving the book away and too many memories come flooding back or the idea truly upsets me, then I keep it BUT if I feel that I can give the book away, hoping that someone else will gain something from it, then I put it in the charity bag. Some books like Charlie and the Chocolate Factory (the first novel I ever read) or Harry Potter (the book that affirmed my love of reading) or One Day (a book with a character that I identified with like no other) I know that I couldn't give away even though I could quite easily buy another copy. Your copy of a book that influenced you so much is always going to be tied up with those emotions unlike the crisp copies you'll see in Waterstones. And I think that's great, books are all about emotions, but if you can bring yourself to part with a good book, even if it's just to lend it to someone, who knows what you'll be sparking. Otherwise I suggest an e-reader, they're easier to store and no one will expect you to lend them your copy of a book. If any of you have ever Googled writing tips for aspiring authors you will probably read on every list that pops up that you should write, no matter for how short a period of time, every day.
I'm not saying this is bad advice at all, it's brilliant. Athletes, dancers, footballers, bodybuilders and so much more usually train six days a week as minimum in order to perfect their technique and writers can definitely do the same if they want to improve on their command of language. However, does every aspiring author have the time for this? I've been feeling quite guilty lately as I've been doing a lot of shifts in the hotel where I work and a few of them have involved five am starts, which means that by the time I finish at three o'clock I can just about drive home and lie down on the sofa. Therefore, not only am I physically exhausted but after a full day of being nice to customers and catering to their every need my brain just needs to shut down and chill, it's not really in the mood to develop characters and plot lines. I'm sure that there are a lot of would-be writers in the same position as me; we'd love to spend our time writing and writing but we need to earn money or put the washing on or anything else that daily life throws at you. Finding the time to sit down without any distractions and let your imagination run wild can be difficult and when you do find that time it can often feel very contrived and pressurised if you've waited so long for it. Therefore, you're not exactly at your optimum creativity level. That being said, I can see the argument by those people who think that if you're determined to become a writer, like those people who wake up at silly o'clock in the morning to get down to the track or jump in the pool, you should make time to practice your craft and continue to do so until you decide it's no longer for you. Like anything in life, you won't get better at something or achieve your goals if you don't even attempt to make time for it. At the moment I'm very busy with my current job whilst looking for a full time role that uses my degree, which can be a job in itself. I adore writing and treasure whatever time I can spare to do it but I have to be realistic and, right now, I need to build a career until an agent realises that they simply cannot let Enkindled out of their clutches. Finding the balance is hard but I'm not going to stop and if I can fit in ten minutes here and there of writing or even come up with a new idea for a story on my lunch break I'll be more than happy. Absolutely everyone on the planet, particularly the British population, has a visit from The Doubt Monster. It is a grey, messy beast that feeds off your knock backs in life and excretes uncertainty all over your brain until you're not even sure if that cup of tea you just drank was a good idea. Coincidentally, I did just drink a cup of tea and it was a good idea.
Like most writers my book has been rejected by a few agencies by now, which wasn't a huge surprise by any means, and my quest to find a job that makes me feel like I have some purpose in life is proving futile in the extreme. I just don't know what to do or to feel to be perfectly honest. In terms of my book, The Doubt Monster is rampant in its hunger to put me off selling it to more book agencies. "Are you sure this is good enough?" It asks, "Do you really think you're meant to be a writer? Maybe you should try something else, although that might fail, too." All in all, I've been asking myself a lot of questions recently about my book and whether I should make some serious changes to the plot and characters or even if I should continue to try and get it published. Rejection is par for the course when it comes to writing, I know that. But when it feels like everything you have applied for over the past six months, both jobs and agents, has been with energy and vigor and is basically amounting to nothing it's hard not to feel a little down. In my heart of hearts I still adore my idea for Enkindled and I just hope that there is one person out there who is willing to take a chance on it. I'm always open to developing and changing its concept, providing that I approve of the suggestions, and so I know that I have to keep telling myself not to give up. I do have other ideas I wish to explore, as mentioned in a previous post, and there is one that I'm giving some serious thought to as writing as a book. Although this feels like I might be giving up on Enkindled, I know that I have to get it written down and who knows what will come of that? It might turn out to be rubbish, it could be my best work yet but it could also inspire new ways to approach Enkindled. Everyone has their down moments in life, particularly those of us who consider ourselves to be creative types, but, for me, I think the best way to fend off The Doubt Monster for as long as possible is to just keep writing about the things that I love. I know that I want to be a published writer more than anything and the only way that can happen is if I write something, stopping now when I'm just getting started would be a resounding victory for The Doubt Monster and we just can't have that. I have a confession to make. I'm having an affair. With a Word document.
Recently there have been a few writing competitions that I have come across, which I have been keen to enter, and so I have written a couple of short stories in addition to the sequel that I'm working on. However, I've found that I've loved working on these small projects and the idea of writing more short stories to explore some of the other ideas I have is very enticing. The only problem is that I feel like I'm cheating on my novel, which I feel should be taking priority in terms of my writing time. If I'm serious about getting my books published then, surely, I should be spending as much of my time on them as possible, right? When it came to writing the first book this was definitely the case but I think part of me feels that there is less pressure when it comes to the second book because, let's face it, I haven't even got an agent for the first book, yet. This means that I don't necessarily even have to write it, I'm just doing it because I enjoy doing so and really do love the characters and story that I've created in the first book. This is probably why I've allowed myself to spend some time writing whatever comes in to my brain and getting lost in new worlds filled with new people. There is always the risk that delving in to something new and shiny with bucket loads of potential is going to distract me from my current, prolonged work and, in the end, it turns out to be a dud that I wasted time on. Even though I do feel guilty at times for working on other projects I'm starting to accept that it's perfectly fine to do so because, as a writer, there's nothing worse than an idea that refuses to leave your mind. It will stick around for weeks, posing questions and seemingly creating its own characters until you get it down on paper and give it the structure it deserves. Having lots of ideas can't be a bad thing, can it? Enkindled may be the project I'm most focused on now but, hopefully, when I'm finished with it there will be a desire from people to read something new and I'd like to be able to fulfill it. So, even though affairs very rarely end well, I'm going to continue with mine with the mindset that it's just a bit of fun on the side as long as I come home to the world that I've loved for so long. So I've sent my book off to an agent (eek!) and eagerly await their reply. In an odd way I'm looking forward to the rejection letters that are likely to come as, to me, it means that I'm at least on my way in to the writing world. And, of course, if I do ever get published I can remind said agents that they rejected my masterpiece (I would never do that, I'm too worried about karma/I'm too much of a wimp.)
Anyway, now that my book has been sent off I've been feeling a bit lost as to what to write next. I've been writing down ideas for future projects but my mind is very much focused on my book series and I just can't wait to crack on. I know how it's all going to end and I've got a plan for the bits in between, which will probably change but at least I have a plan for now, and so all I want to do is write it. I have started writing a very poor first draft but from my experience with my first book the first draft is always naff and then after it's been obsessed over for months everything turns out all right in the end. I'm really enjoying it so far but at the back of my head all I keep thinking is: "Am I jinxing this?" By writing the rest of the series am I setting myself up for a fall? If you've read any of my previous posts (which you should do, they're bloody marvelous) you will know that I'm quite careful about how I talk about myself and my writing. I want to seem confident but not too confident and I do worry that writing the sequel to my book, which hasn't even been picked up yet let alone published, means that I'm getting a bit cocky. However, I REALLY LOVE WRITING STORIES and so I feel that it's perfectly acceptable for me to jump right in to the next one. If all goes well, I have a sequel ready to edit and rewrite and if it doesn't then I've created something that I've enjoyed. It doesn't bother me that I may have written a complete novel that needs to be changed, if a publisher wants to publish it then I'll do pretty much whatever they want but if I haven't enjoyed the process then that will bother me. I'm creating stories that I'm really passionate about and would like to read myself. Yes, I want to be published but if I let the business of writing and all of its possible outcomes get inside my head I may never type or write another word, again. Therefore, I'm plowing on with my sequel and no one can stop me! |
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